How is it that sometimes the weight of ourselves overcomes the weight of God? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that this shouldn’t or won’t happen, all I’m saying is that to me, it’s a phenomenon of itself at times. Obviously we’re pretty screwed up because of what happened in the Garden, but let’s examine this for a second. The One who formed us out of the dust, breathed life into us, set the stars in place, and holds every single molecule together; the One who is outside of time and space and outside of everything to the point where what we think is “knowledge” of God is really just scraping the surface, pushed aside by His own creation. We look God in the face and say, “I’d rather do this myself” or “You can’t have this, you can’t have that either.” “I have too many problems, I don’t have time for you.” Whether or not you say it or admit it to yourself, you do it. We all do it. But how? How can we read Genesis 1 and say, “I’d rather not”? The level of selfishness we have achieved is astounding. Even after reading, hearing, and experiencing what God did and does for us. The fact that you are breathing is God serving you. Also, it isn’t like we have an excuse in the fact that we “don’t know”. Cause we do, we just choose to ignore it. The Glorious King came to earth and washed his friends feet. He washed Judas’ feet, the one who Satan possessed was served by the Son of God. And we think God isn’t worth our time.
Now I have no intention of accusing you all, I’m just kinda talking to myself. I mean, it’s not like we always say (though sometimes I know we say it and feel it), “God, your plan just won’t work.” There are times and places where we do feel that. But others, we just say no. We just refuse to give up “our” time or “our” energy to God. Now in that case what is our solution? Well, the understood solution is that of making ourselves God. If we refuse to honor God as God, who’s next in line? Us. It would be better worth our time to make an animal God. At least they don’t hate each other unnecessarily and harbor up jealousy, rage, and lust behind walls of fake virtue. We make crumby gods. As C.S. Lewis put it, we can’t handle the weight of glory. This becomes a major problem. As soon as we refuse to give God what is Gods (everything, all inclusive, our life itself), all hell breaks loose.
But the thing I’m constantly remembering is that God’s grace outweighs everything we could possibly do. You know those times where you know what you’re doing is wrong, and you do it anyway? Those times where you just straight up kill someone with your words? You know all of those times that just said “God, I hate you.”? That’s exactly what He died for. The weight of grace outweighs our inability to bear the weight of glory. The weight of grace outweighs everything. All we have to do is cross that line. God promises eternal life and blessing to those who are willing to cross that line between holding onto the things here on earth and giving up everything for Him. He begs us just to realize that is the line between life and death. And once that realization is made, He reminds us that He died to make it possible for us to cross. What have we got to lose?
God wants us to live in the light, to step out of the darkness, and step into a life in which nothing is hidden. “I believe in Christianity as I believe in the sun; not because I see it, but because by it, I see everything.” God wants to give us that light, He wants us to see things the way He sees them. All we have to do is be willing to give it all to Him.
